A Vendetta Against Opposites

First of all, in the interest of maintaining the honesty and integrity of this blog, I should tell you upfront that I'm wearing a blazer right now.
As a follow up to point #1, I should also tell you that wearing blazers (singular, I only own one) somehow convinces me, if only for the duration of their stay, that I am a professional young adult with all my affairs in order. In fact, it may be in large part due to said blazer that I have mustered the confidence required not only to use the word vendetta, but to launch one against the timeless practice of forcing phenomena to opposite ends of some socially constructed spectrum invented entirely by the human mind.

Let's jump right into it with some concrete examples, shall we?
A cat is the opposite of a dog- what the hell? What does that even mean? What type of criteria has been used to polarize these domesticated creatures? Does that include all members of the feline family, or just cats that have been named by humans? Is the type of dog a relevant feature? As new breeds continue to be produced by unlikely canine couples, will it be possible to engineer a "dog" that is not the opposite of a "cat"? WHERE DO BUNNY RABBITS, HAMSTERS AND IGUANAS COME INTO THIS? Do they get opposites too, or are they not popular enough as pets?

A boat is the opposite of a car- I have vivid memories of learning this in grade school. I believe I had to draw a line between a picture and the image of its counterpart. How fitting. Perhaps as a progression to that exercise, middle school students could continue to plot pictures along that spectrum, between boat and car. A plane! Well, it certainly transports people. It is similar to a boat in that its driver doesn't really have to be concerned about traffic in the same way as it would on the road, but it also tends towards a car in that it has wheels and does drive for a short while on the runway. Could it be possible that an airplane falls exactly between a car and a boat on the imaginary illusory spectrum of transportation? OF COURSE NOT, THAT QUESTION MAKES NO SENSE! So yes, I guess it could.

I am unusually passionate about this issue. Perhaps I've found my niche. Along with combating poor contact care, debunking the illusion of opposites is a cause I could really see myself sinking my metaphorical teeth into.
Inherent to such oppositional and dualistic thinking seems to be the packaging of phenomena into discrete boxes that can then be lined up in some sort of aesthetically pleasing row. I feel the linearity jabbing at my kidneys. I don't know if I sympathize more with those things that get forced to a pole by the stifling Opposite Wand of humanity, or those that are less familiar or useful to us, and thereby get neglected entirely. I would imagine that question means absolutely nothing, because why would a chocolate truffle care if it "has" an opposite or not, so I'll just let it disintegrate. The question, not the truffle- that I'll eat.
**Please keep in mind that I am wearing a blazer**
I have discussed this issue many times, dressed in a vast assortment of clothing and accessories. Once, the conversation concluded with the exciting option that perhaps something's opposite is its shadow!! (I think it was a scarf that day) But then, alas, what about when it's not sunny, or when you're not on Earth, or when you are the sun! ... something to keep in mind before you cast your lot with the scarf side, in case you should encounter any or all of those three situations.
Another perspective was that Pokemon is the opposite of Aloo Gobhi (a popular Indian dish of potatoes and cauliflower) - because why the hell not? (Jasmine pants)

The jury is still out on this one folks. Until any conclusive results come in, which is absolutely not possible (in part because of the power that an everchanging wardrobe exerts on decision making), let's spread awareness about this issue through stylish hoodies (I'm thinking as a tagline: "FREE PHENOMENA"), hunger strikes, and really long walks.